Girl, F*ck Them People

I’m blessed to share a hometown with Toni Morrison (she’s also a fellow Aquarius). It’s almost impossible for me to pick a favorite quote of hers, but one that’s been ringing in my head more and more over the years is:

As a Black person, as a woman, as someone who is disabled, I am frequently asked — or forced — to “prove” myself. My identity is always being questioned and it’s almost always by someone who has a preconceived notion of me based on my gender and/or race (my disability is not physical). And since almost all of my identities are marginalized in U.S. society, proving myself — essentially justifying my existence — is required. 

Fuck that shit. 

Today is my birthday and as I enter my 38th year, I’m refusing to waste any of my precious and divine time on that bullshit.

It’s no secret that I love Megan Thee Stallion (another Black woman who’s an Aquarius, noticing a pattern?) and on Glorilla’s debut album she joins on a song called How I Look and a specific line she rapped hit me like a ton of bricks:

It seems so simple and yet, there it is. I’m not Coco Gauff and they damn sure ain’t Naomi Osaka, so what the hell are we doing here?

Justifying my existence to who and why? It’s not because they’re better or smarter than me because if they were, they wouldn’t be asking in the first place. 

Since it is a new year for me, I’ve also been thinking about new beginnings and starting over. Last month it was very much “new year, new me” and people feeling guilty for already failing at their unrealistic New Years resolutions. But at the end of the month, we also had Lunar New Year, and in the spring we begin a new astrological year, the Persian New Year — Nowruz — begins in March. 

What I’m saying is that we can always start over and start a new beginning that doesn’t have to be tied to the Gregorian calendar. You can begin your new year on April 16th just because you feel like it. There are no rules to this thing, do whatever you want. 

Toni Morrison was a 39 year old divorced, single mom when The Bluest Eye, her first novel, was published. Time is the most precious resource that exists because you can’t get it back. Once it’s gone, it’s gone forever. So live for yourself, not other people.

And this brings me back to another Morrison quote, from Song of Solomon:

Happy Birthday to me.